You Can’t Buy Love, But Apparently, You Can Buy a House?
Article Summary
- A whack-load of bribery charges have been dropped like hot potatoes by the Department of Justice. It’s the largest number ever filed in a single day – breaking records in all the wrong ways.
- The charges tie into some real estate whizz-kids who apparently thought Monopoly money was legal tender, making under-the-table deals to secure contracts and approvals. It’s like ‘Better Call Saul’ met ‘Million Dollar Listing’.
- The housing market has gone wild, and these folk wanted a piece of the cake. Unfortunately for them, the slice they got was a fraud pie with a side of prison possibility.
- Curiously, these not-so-upright individuals also found devious ways to fix their tax problems. You know, the ones that came with bag-fulls of illicit money. Tax evasion? Check! False entries in records? Double-check! About the only thing they didn’t do was sign their names in neon on the DOJ’s doorstep.
- Officials had their ‘Gotcha!’ moment with a detailed reconstruction of the illicit money trail – which was a little more complex than your grandma’s knitting pattern or your attempt at IKEA furniture assembly.
My Hot Take
I’ve heard about selling your soul for a quick buck, but this is some next-level misconduct, folks. Seriously, when did Monopoly money become legitimate currency, and why wasn’t I in the loop? Just imagine, all those missed chances to buy Park Place and Boardwalk! But alas, as we see, even in the wild west of the housing market, you can’t just go throwing dollars around like confetti at a wedding without someone getting suspicious.
It’s a salutary tale that amid skyrocketing house prices and feverish demand, there are some who try to game the system – and fail spectacularly. If you thought the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’ had a hairy tale, this one’s more like ‘Goldilocks and The Three Felony Bears’. And it all ends the same way, for Goldilocks and the bears – with cuffs.
So remember, kids, don’t let greed replace your moral compass. Bribery might get you that beachfront property in the short run, but let’s face it – the view from a prison cell is anything but stunning. And much like a bad home renovation, once you tear down the walls, the whole structure (and your life) could crumble.
Think twice before you turn to the dark side! Only then can you continue to pass ‘Go’ and collect $200. Until then, it’s always jail, do not pass ‘Go’, do not collect $200.
Original article: https://www.inman.com/2024/02/06/70-public-housing-employees-charged-with-bribery-in-new-york/
